I Want to Know What Love Is
by TurningPageFiction
Summary: Continuation of the porch scene from Season 1 finale. DxE Rated M. Took it down for awhile, but decided to upload once again. Reviews are appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, I'm just hopelessly in love with Damon Salvatore.

**_A/N: Okay so I did this one-shot almost a year ago after the Season One finale and I eventually took it down once I realized I didn't have the interest in continuing it that I thought I did. But I found it and reread and figured what the heck, why not upload it again? This is obviously a continuation of the porch scene with Damon and Katherine...only he thinks it's Elena. I will not be continuing this into a full story, but I do want to get back into writing TVD fanfiction soon. Probably once season 2 has come to a close. Author alert me to stay tuned! _**

_"In my life, there's been heartache and pain_

_I don't know if I can face it again_

_Can't stop now_

_I've travelled so far_

_To change this lonely life"_

**Damon POV:**

I'm not really sure what I'm doing here, standing in Jeremy Gilbert's bedroom, attempting to make amends. This isn't what I do; I don't do the whole random acts of kindness crap. Ever since _she_ came into my life, everything in this life I had built for myself was coming undone.

I turned to leave, considering my attempts had failed, when Jeremy spoke again.

"Anna said that vampires don't have to feel pain. That they can turn it off if they shut out their humanity."

I stop in the doorway and turn to face him.

"That's very true," I replied.

"Is it easier that way?" he asked, and I was astounded by the sheer pain that I saw in his features. Even though I hadn't made any progress with him, I hoped that Elena would. Jeremy seems so hopeless, so alone. It was like he had nothing else to live for. I turned back to him fully, my voice echoing my confusion at his question.

"Is what easier?"

He scoffed slightly at my words and said, "Life."

"Life sucks either way Jeremy, at least if you're a vampire you don't have to feel bad about it if you don't want to."

That was my reality for many years. Killing whatever, whoever, I wanted to, whenever I felt like it. It was how I dealt with the pain of losing Katherine. Sure, she was playing both Stefan and I, but at least on my end it was real. I absolutely loved her, with everything I had. I swore to myself that I would do everything I could to find her and get her back.

That may have been the case a couple months ago, but everything was changing. I no longer had this apathetic attitude about things and it was throwing me for a loop. Being the "bad" Salvatore brother was my thing, I was good at it. But, Elena…she's the source of everything good in my life now.

"Is that what you did?"

If only he knew the kinds of atrocities I have committed in my years. I was becoming more and more ashamed of them, something I never thought would happen. Elena was with my brother, but somehow she managed to grab a hold of my cold, dead heart and make me feel alive again. As cliché as that sounds anyway.

Elena somehow is able to see past my bullshit and find some sense of good inside me. I didn't even think I even had good inside me anymore; I figured the years of killing sprees had washed all of that away. But she is with Stefan, I found myself being reminded of on a daily basis.

"I did it for a very long time," I told him, pausing as my voice started to crack, "and life was a lot easier."

With that, I turned and left Jeremy in his room. As I made my way down the hall to the stairs, I paused to gaze at the family photos that were hung on the walls.

There were some of Elena and Jeremy as children, laughing and playing together in the front yard. They both looked so young and carefree, full of innocence. All of that was stripped from them once their parents died.

I found myself wishing that I had been in Mystic Falls when that had happened. Maybe I could have been of some sort of help to them, to Elena.

_Maybe you could have met her first, befriended her before Stefan came into the picture._

I shoved those thoughts out of my head, what happened, happened. I can't change that. It really wasn't surprising that Elena fell for Stefan. He had all the qualities that a man should have, at least, a man deserving of Elena that is. Deep down, I knew that I was all wrong for her. But it didn't stop me from wanting to be right for her.

I originally only flirted with her to annoy Stefan. It is after all my favorite pastime. But after we banded together to save him from the tomb vampires, something happened. Now there was an undeniable connection between us, even Stefan was aware of it. I only wish I knew if Elena was aware.

Of one thing I was painfully aware; Elena Gilbert is my weakness. She has me wrapped around her finger and she probably doesn't even know it. I am finding myself actually wanting to be a better person…willingly I might add, just for her. I was afraid that my cover had been blown when Isobel ousted me to her; telling Elena that I was in love with her.

I think Stefan's proximity to Elena kept him from kicking my ass, but I didn't admit to anything. Of course, that might have admitted a lot more than actually saying something, but oh well.

When Elena saw how evil her birth mother truly was, I wanted nothing but to console her. But she had Stefan.

But then tonight, my god, her actions tonight spoke volumes. Even if I was reading more into it than I should have, it gave me hope.

Elena actually wanted to save me. She discovered that I was trapped in the burning basement and sent my brother down to save me. Bonnie, who despises me, helped them, because she knew Elena would be devastated if Stefan was hurt, or dare I say, if I was hurt?

I continued down the stairs and to the front door.

I stepped outside onto the porch and looked up to see Elena coming up the steps, holding her things. As she saw me leaving her house, her beautiful face was filled with confusion.

"What are you doing here?" she asked me.

"A failed and feeble attempt at doing the right thing," I said solemnly.

"Which was…" she probed, but I walked toward her, shaking my head slightly.

"It's not important," I told her, reaching for her clothes, "Here, let me take this for you."

I let my gaze linger a little longer than necessary, then walked over to the table by the window and set them down for her.

"Thank you," she replied automatically. She looked kind of surprised at my manners. But I am an old-fashioned man after all. There were a few moments of silence before I spoke again.

"You know, I came into this town, wanting to destroy it. Tonight I found myself wanting to protect it."

I paused, fiddling with my family ring, feeling myself become more and more vulnerable with every second that passed.

"How does that happen?" I continued, my voice letting my conflicted emotions be known, "I'm not a hero, Elena. I don't do good, it's not…in me."

Maybe if I kept telling myself that, then it would suddenly be true. But as it was, my soul was changing, if I even had one. I had grown accustomed to acting as though I had none at all.

"Maybe it is?" Elena said, framing the statement as a question. Ohh Elena, you really are too good for me. I should just give up now before I corrupt you even more.

"No," I replied, a smile playing at my lips, "that's reserved for my brother…and you, and Bonnie. Even though she has every reason to hate me, she still helped Stefan…save me."

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Because she did it for you," I said, before I could stop myself. Elena cocked her head slightly and I walked towards her, my voice cracking a bit, "Which means that somewhere along the way, you decided that I was worth saving."

Elena's entire essence surrounded me as I was standing in front of her. Everything about her called to me, and not just because of her uncanny resemblance to Katherine. The girl before me was absolutely nothing like Katherine.

"And I wanted to thank you, for that." I concluded, meaning everything I said.

Elena nodded, "You're welcome."

Before I knew what I was doing I found myself leaning forward and placing a lingering kiss on her cheek. I felt her stiffen momentarily at the contact, then she relaxed into it. I was afraid to read anymore into it, but could it be possible that she felt this connection between us as well?

I pulled back to look into her eyes. I saw an abundance of emotion swimming in them. Confusion, desire, and maybe love? I could never purposefully try and steal this girl away from my brother; I would lose her if I did that. But this girl in front of me had stolen every barrier and wall I had built up around me, and my heart.

My eyes went from her eyes to her lips and back up again. I was surprised to see hers do the same. I could feel what was about to happen, but I was too far gone to even really think about it.

I leaned forward once more and slowly placed a gentle kiss on her lips. One kiss and I was home. I knew I would never get to heaven for the things I had done in my existence, but this feeling right here, is probably the closest I will get. Her lips were soft and molded perfectly against mine. It was official, this girl owned me.

I pulled back slightly, not wanting to push her into anything she did not want to do. I was surprised to feel her pull me slightly back down to her, our lips meeting once more. This time there was no hesitance, this was Elena kissing me in return.

I cradled her face in my hands and held her to me, relishing in how perfect this felt, at least to me. Our lips moved in sync with each other, like this was how it was meant to be.

I was hopelessly and completely in love with Elena Gilbert. I was too far gone at this point. I traced her lips with my tongue and she immediately granted me entrance. Our tongues danced together, and I couldn't stop the groan that escaped me.

Suddenly, Elena took control of the situation.

I heard a moan come out of her as she pushed me back into the porch column. The sound went straight to my cock and I instantly reacted. Vampires are inherently sexual beings by nature, but this girl seemed to amplify those traits in me.

I maneuvered us so that now she was pressed against the column, my entire body aligned with hers with not an inch of space between us. I ground my hips into hers and was rewarded with another heavenly moan from her lips.

Elena detached her mouth from mine and turned her attention to my neck. Sucking and licking in all of the right spots. My hands journeyed from her hips, trailing over her stomach and up to her breasts. I cupped them in my hands and she arched her back at the feeling.

"God, Damon, more, please," she whimpered against my neck.

Unable to deny her, I began grinding my hips into hers, my cock coming closer to the place it really wanted to be. A loud moan escaped us both as I came in contact with her hot core.

Her lips found mine once more, concealing our moans of pleasure. With every thrust of my hips I felt myself getting closer to release. I wasn't sure when this would even happen again, or if I was just dreaming all of this in the first place.

My lips left hers only for a moment as I murmured in her ear, my voice filled with lust, "Come on, Elena, that's it, are you as close as I am? Tell me…"

"Oh God…yes, Damon, I'm so fucking close."

I had never heard her curse before, but it was the sexiest thing I had ever heard. Only a couple thrusts later, Elena trembled against me, riding out her orgasm. I followed suit after her, silently cursing myself now that I had to change my pants. Preferably before Stefan saw me.

We remained in the same position, pressed against each other, both us breathing heavy. I leaned down once more and captured her lips against mine.

"Elena, I…" I began, but was interrupted by the front door opening.

Jenna looked back and forth between and even though she had just missed the actual events that had just transpired, I knew it wasn't hard for her to guess.

"It's late," she said shortly at Elena, "You should come inside."

Elena nodded, and I moved out of the way. She grabbed her stuff where I had placed it and headed in the house. Her aunt threw me a dirty look as she shut the door behind her.

I remained on the porch for an unknown amount of time, as I was still trying to process what had just happened. I honestly didn't mean to lose control like that.

I only hoped that it didn't affect the tentative friendship we had formed together. She was after all, possibly my only friend.

**_A/N: Hi! Me again! I also wanted to share with ya'll that I started a TVD blog so head over to PetrovaDiaries . wordpress . com to check it out!_**


	2. Important Author's Note!

Hi Guys! Sorry for the false alarm!

I wanted to give you all a heads up that I've changed my FF penname to TurningPageFiction. Not that I don't love the Hales, I just needed a change. So, I just wanted to shoot you all an A/N to avoid any confusion. I'm working on getting a blog set up under this new name as well to keep all of you updated without having to send out author's notes all the time. Is that something you all would be interested in? Let me know!

~Ashley

P.S- If you haven't done so already, please add me on Author Alert. I'm about 5 chapter in for a continuation of my one-shot "Stranger on Horseback." It will be a full length story and I'm really excited about it! I hope to start publishing in a few weeks once I have more chapters completed. I'm in college so I'll definitely need to write some before publishing so I won't have to constantly be writing! Thanks!


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